Taking Responsibility For Your Life

How many of you feel like your lives are out of your control? How many of you feel like you’re stuck somewhere unhappy without a way out? How often do you think to yourself, “there’s nothing I can do, this is just the way life is”? You’re not alone and help is on the way, but that help can only get there when you decide to take responsibility for your own life.

My Lesson

The most important thing I’ve learned in my life is that this is indeed my life. It may suck at times and there are some things about it that I wish to change, but at the end of the day it is my life. The decisions that shape my life are mine, as are the consequences of those decisions. If there are things that suck then it’s up to me to fix them and if there are things I want to change then I should get off my butt and change them. This, my friends, is the essence of responsibility. To be responsible means being willing to step up, make decisions and accept the consequences. I am responsible for my own life as you are responsible for yours.

I can already hear what some of you are thinking. You’re thinking that your current state is someone else’s fault. You’re thinking someone did you wrong, someone took your life away or perhaps someone gave you a rough start to what could have been an easy life. Was it a parent who didn’t care? A school which wasn’t good enough? A lover who left you and broke your heart? Whatever or whoever it was, that’s all in the past. Those things have happened and there’s no way for you to change them. What happens from this point on is your decision and that’s why it’s your responsibility. This is your chance to step up.

There are no knights in shining armor and no magical solutions. Changing your life might be harder than you can imagine or it may be easier than you can believe but either way, it’s your responsibility to create that change. You may have many people willing to help but the responsibility is still yours.

My Day Of Reckoning

I still remember that summer day when I finally figured this out. It was a few months after my divorce and my life was in shambles. I was depressed, I hated my job and I desperately wanted a different life. I remember that morning as I tried to get out of my bed and couldn’t get any further than sitting up. I burst into tears and sobbed out repeatedly “please, someone help. Please, someone tell me what to do.” I spoke those words over and over but no one answered. My ex did not magically reappear to fix our marriage, my job did not magically get better, no shining figure descended from the heavens with all the answers I needed. The only one who was there for me was my dog, who lay by my side and gave me her unconditional love. Eventually, the sobbing stopped. I realized then that I have three options. I can accept being miserable for the rest of my life, I can end my life or I can improve my life. I chose option number three.

Your Day Is Here

Yes, I know, your life is different, your troubles are tougher, your misery stronger and the forces pushing you down are heavier than mine. Your life is horrible, your pain is intense and your troubles insurmountable. To this I say, horse crap! There’s always a way and there is always time to fix your life. The sooner you start the sooner you will reap the rewards of your efforts. The first step is always the same though. Accept responsibility for your life, accept the fact that the decisions that will shape your life are your own as are their consequences. Accept the fact that you may sometimes fail and that failing hurts. Accept that it may take a while. Accept that it may be hard. Accept all of these things but first of all accept the responsibility that comes along with being an adult human being. That is the first and most important lesson I have learned in my life. An adult is responsible for his or her own life.

Don’t Be Scared

To some of you this may seem scary but it really isn’t. I’m not trying to frighten you, I’m trying to set you free. Once you realize that control is in your hands, life becomes an experience to enjoy rather than a burden to be endured. It’s frightening to realize you have complete freedom but it’s also the most wonderful and joyous experience you’ll ever have.

So the choice is yours. Stay trapped in that life, blaming your parents, your kids, your boss or your government and be miserable, or accept responsibility and start living life. Every time something happens, every time you experience an event, tell yourself, “this is my life, this is my responsibility, I can change this if I want.” That right there is a good beginning. If you’re willing to do that, then stick with me and let’s see what we can learn together.