How Can I Change The World? Or At Least My Country

Darwin - Very gradual change we can believe inSo, if I think both the OWS and the Tea Party movements suck, how exactly would I go about changing the world?  It’s an interesting questions because one of my goals in life is to leave this world in a better condition than I found it.  Whether or not I have kids, I want my impact on this world (and on my country) to be positive.  I don’t need to be the next Abraham Lincoln or Tim Bernars Lee, but I would like to have a net positive impact.  This is especially important to me these days when the world seems to be in a bit of trouble all around.  We have environmental issues, economic collapse, political instability, leaders who seem clueless and politicians who seem completely out of touch.  In the face of all this, it’s easy to feel powerless and just give up.  However, there are still plenty of ways in which one person can have an impact and I’m going to use this post to list a few. [Read more...]

Why Occupy Wall Street Sucks

Occupy Wall Street: Day 14I don’t usually get into politics on this blog because I find that it’s too divisive.  People either believe or they don’t, sort of like religion, and trying to hold an intelligent conversation over a matter of faith is silly.  Today I’d like to change that a bit.  I’m going to talk about politics and the occupy wall street phenomena in particular.  However, I’m going to avoid talking about the political opinions expressed and just focus on the actions.  That is, I’m not trying to say whether the OWS movement is right or wrong, I’m simply going to look at how they’re conducting themselves.

First, a little background for those of you who might be reading this five years from now or who might have been living under a rock for the past five years.  OWS is a bunch of folks who are camping out in a park near Wall Street in protest of the current economic situation.  They have a variety of messages but most of the them revolve around the idea that current income distribution is unfair due to the fact that the top 1% of earners take home far more than 1% of the income.  That’s fine and if that’s your belief, good for you.  However, what actions are these people taking? [Read more...]

Choose To Be Happy

Roses...I’m on a plane to Austin right now.  I’m going to be meeting some customers there tomorrow and then flying back home tomorrow night.  When I boarded the flight I saw a sign that said “free Wifi mid air” and it occurred to me just how wonderful these times are that we live in.

Sixty years ago it took my grandparents two weeks to escape from Romania to Israel.  They huddled in trains and on ships, not quite sure where they were going or what was going to happen to them.  They left behind all their belongings and faced a completely unknown future.  And here I was, making a journey of about the same distance in comfort.  I sip my complimentary drink and surf the web 30,000 feet above the American southwest. [Read more...]

Screw Reminders and To Do Lists

To-Do ListI am one of those obsessive people who has to write down everything they need to do.  If I don’t write it down, I obsess about it.  I think about it over and over, visualizing all the bad things that will happen if I don’t get this done on time.  I stress myself out imagining the ramifications of what will happen if I forget to this task and then I obsess about whether or not I will forget it.  This is true for everything.  From the most important task (get an officiant for my wedding) to the least (walk the dog).  Luckily for me, I found a solution to this problem a long time ago.  The solution was actually in a book by David Allen called Getting Things Done which I highly recommend for anyone wrestling with organizational issues.  It was a simple solution and basically called for me to write things down.

I know, I know, sounds stupid simple, but it really works.  Before you start obsessing over a task, just write it down.  That way you have a reminder which you can deal with later.  In the meantime, you’re free to go about whatever other work you needed to do without devoting extra brain cycles to other stuff.  It’s an excellent tip and one that has stayed with me for years.  Unfortunately, it’s also that drives me crazy sometimes. [Read more...]

Let’s Go Have A Beer

I was all annoyed and frustrated on Wednesday. I was having a bad day at work and I was tired. What made things even worse was that I made a promise to Julie to cook for her that night. That’s usually something I look forward to but my frustration at work was causing me to look at this as a chore. I was already tired, why should now have to do this extra thing? I wanted to cancel it, I wanted to tell her “let’s go out to dinner instead” but I was afraid. She’d be unhappy, she’d be upset with me breaking my promise and ruining our dinner.  What could I do?  How could I change our plans without causing a mess?  It was moments like this one that had ruined some of my previous relationships. Well, not specifically moment like these but the general way in which I handled them.

I wanted very much to make Julie happy, but the plan for the night was one which was making me unhappy. Seemed like I was screwed either way. If I tried to figure out some other plan, she would be unhappy. If I pretended to be ok with the current plan, she would pick up on it and then we would both be unhappy. I could call her up and tell her how annoying and frustrated I was at work and hope that she picked up on it and suggest a different alternative I suppose, that’s what I would have done in the past, but I hate having conversations like that. It reminds me of the way I used to act and how destructive it was to my relationships. [Read more...]

Come To Jesus Moment

motivation-001Ever had a come to jesus moment?  I just did.

First, A Definition

A come to jesus moment is that moment when an individual is compelled by the weight of evidence and looming penalty to admit wrong doing.

Yep, I’ve done wrong.  I’ve lied to you which is bad enough, but worst than that, I’ve lied to myself.  Here I am telling myself that I know it all and I’ve done it all, that my life is perfect and that I have what I want.  I almost managed to convince myself of that, until tonight.  Tonight I had dinner with several executives from the Silicon Valley tech industry, a CEO from Singapore and a VC or two.  I was sitting at one of the best steakhouses in the country with people who run multi billion (that’s with a B) organizations and I was thinking to myself, “what have I accomplished?”  I looked around me and I saw men who are leaders, men who were not given what they have but won it through hard work, intelligence and a relentless drive to succeed.  These men excelled at everything they put their minds to.  They weren’t just great executives, they were also wonderful parents who cared deeply about their children and devoted hobbyists of various sorts.  Some ran marathons, some did iron mans but all of them shared a common trait.  In all cases, no matter what they did, from parenting and surfing to running companies and marathons, these men threw themselves into the task with 110% of their strength.  They held nothing back and never shied from the task in front of them.

Now you may not want to be a silicon valley executive, and that’s fine and dandy, but you still want to be something, don’t you?  You still want to accomplish your goals, don’t you?  What is it that you dreamed about when you were a child?  What was it that you saw in your dreams when you lay down to sleep?  Those are the goals you had, the things that drove you forward, the things you wanted to devote yourself to 110%, as these men did to their dreams.  And yes, sometimes they failed, sometimes they tried and no matter what, they could not succeed.  One of the men was divorced, another had a failed start up a few years back, but they never gave up.  No matter what happened, they picked themselves up and rededicated themselves to their goals. [Read more...]

Retired At 31, A Lesson In Purposeful Living

Old Fisherman - Cape Cod“I’m retired!”  That’s what my friend Ray said to me on his 31st birthday.

To better understand this comment, let me describe Ray to you.  Ray’s family came from a poor farming community in Asia.  They had no money when they came to the US, a poor understanding of English and no real education.  His father worked as a school janitor for many years, slowly saving up money until he could buy a home.  Then he bought another home, and another, and another…  In his 50′s, Ray’s father retired on income from his school pension and from the dozen or so properties he owned and rented out.  He spends most of his days travelling or enjoying life with his extended family.

All of this was done through a lot of hard work and determination with no “luck” involved.  Ray’s dad worked long hours and saved up all his money for this goal.  The family rarely traveled, never “indulged” in luxuries and the kids were expected to pay their own way through college.  However, it was also a very happy family.  Aunts and uncles would stop by all the time, large family dinners were the norm and both parents were very involved with their kids and their community.

I still remember going over to Ray’s house on the evening after Thanksgiving.  Before she passed away, his mother would always save leftovers for us.  We would all show up around midnight and feast on leftover turkey, stuffing, corn and pies!  It was a warm and happy house, even if they didn’t have the latest big screen TV.  I think Ray saw all this and, being the competitive guy he is, decided he would do the same, only faster. [Read more...]

The Magic Of Numbers; AKA, How To Get More Messages From Your Online Dating Profile!

How I slept last night.Over at my fitness blog, 60 in 3, I talk about some recent graphs of my weight, age and workout performance.  I basically charted some of these numbers against one another and tried to figure out what they told me.  And if you read the posts you can see that they told me quite a bit!

For me, this is pretty awesome!  I love numbers and data.  The optimization junkie inside me wants to start playing with them right away.  I want to see what happens to one number when you increase the other.  I want to know if two numbers are related.  I even want to see if I can predict one number based on the behavior of others.  There’s a whole field of science around this statistical analysis and I find it all fascinating.

In fact, one of my favorite scenes from one of my favorite books (Friday) has the hero being given some random data about gold prices, beard lengths, skirt lengths and then being told to make sense of it.  At first, our heroine thinks this is nonsense, a crazy assignment meant to annoy her.  However, she slowly begins to see connections until she gets to the point where she can predict the price of gold simply by looking at a picture and examining beard and skirt lengths.

Sounds a bit crazy, doesn’t it?  Maybe not so much. [Read more...]

Be A Better Buyer or: “Why You Have A $1000 Home Gym Collecting Dust In Your Garage”

The Ubiquitous "Before" ShotA few days ago I talked about the value of selling solutions from a seller’s perspective and I mentioned that you need to understand your buyer’s problem and solve it if you want them to buy.  Since all of life is selling, this strategy is effective for anything from selling a product or asking for a raise, to getting a date or asking for a promotion. Always strive to understand the other party’s problem and present what you want as a solution to that problem.

Today, I’d like to talk about that from a buyer’s perspective.

Have you ever paused for a second and thought, “why did I just buy that?” Do you have one of those giant home gym machines collecting dust in your garage even though you spent a good amount of cash on it? Are you spending too much on shopping for things you don’t need? Do you keep finding yourself in a relationship where the other person is not quite what you’re looking for? If so, read on. [Read more...]

Guest Post: Act Like A Kid to Find True Happiness

Have you ever visited to a park and watched kids playing in the playground? They seem so free and so happy. Often if you look at the adults, they are happy just watching the children play. It’s contagious. Why does this make adults happy? Is it because they are remembering the pure innocence of children? Or perhaps it’s because they can see the beauty in the freedom from worry

Gal’s Note – Anytime I’m feeling a bit down I take my dog to the nearest park.  Watching her play and watching the adults & kids there having fun, never fails to cheer me up.  If it’s too cold for the park, try the mall or anywhere else where happy people congregate.  Happiness truly is infectious. [Read more...]