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What Is Responsibility?

October 6, 2011 By 1 Comment

freedom/responsibility

In my ongoing quest to define my ideal person, I’ve run into yet another sticking point.  Namely, I’ve been trying to figure out what the heck is responsibility.

The first place I went is my trusty dictionary and this is what I found:

  1. The state or position of being responsible
  2. A person or thing for which one is responsible
  3. The ability or authority to act or decide on one’s own, without supervision

First definition is pretty pointless.  The second definition tells me that someone or something can be my responsibility but that’s not really helpful either.  I already knew I could be responsible, what I wanted to find out is what it means to be responsible for something or someone.  So I kept looking. [Read more...]

Filed Under: Introspection, Relationships, Responsibility Tagged With: , , , , ,

Let Me Tell You About The Time I Almost Died…

August 29, 2011 By 3 Comments

I found this document hidden away on my computer the other day.  It had been written to a professor in graduate school who asked me to tell “the story of me”.  This was only a few months after my divorce.

Here goes:

One month ago I stood on the fifth floor of a parking structure in San Jose and considered how easy it would be to just step forward into the air. It seemed so inviting, so perfect; an end to the pain and the suffering, a release from the pressure and the stress. Eventually I decided to turn back, to go downstairs and meet the person I was scheduled to have dinner with. I didn’t do it because I changed my mind, but because five stories seemed too low and I couldn’t live with the fear of living the rest of my life with the consequences of a failed attempt. [Read more...]

Filed Under: Confidence, Coping With Failure, Goals, Happiness, Introspection Tagged With: , , , , ,

What Is Honesty?

August 8, 2011 By 2 Comments

HonestyI hate it when someone starts out a sentence with “to be honest” or “honestly”.

To be honest, I’m just using this site to make money and don’t really care about any of you.

Seriously?  Starting out a sentence with something like “to be honest” implies that you haven’t been honest before.  It says you’ve been lying and dishonest up until now.  At least that’s what it says to me.  But does it really?

Most people use this figure of speech to emphasize their honesty or to say they’re being especially honest right now.  They’re saying “well, I know you sometimes doubt me but now I’m making a special effort to be extra honest”.  Does this make sense ?  Can you be somewhat less than extra honest and still be honest?  Can you be different levels of honesty at various times and still consider yourself honest? [Read more...]

Filed Under: Communication, Honesty, Introspection Tagged With: , , , ,

My Brother-In-Law Problem

June 22, 2011 By Leave a Comment

35 StrangersI have a brother in law problem.  The problem is that my brother in law is too good.  He’s educated, smart, nice, knowledgeable, wealthy, hardworking, great conversationalist, successful… In other words, he’s everything I want to be and I resent him for it.  I resent him because he has what I want, because I fear being compared to him, because saying “I want to be like him” is embarrassing.  What’s my fiancé going to think?  Will she compare the two of us?  Will she resent me because I’m not as successful?  Will family gatherings consist of people thinking “wow, look at that amazing guy over there and look at that loser on the other side…”?  So this is my brother in law problem.

Dan Arielly had this great article about the measures of a man’s happiness.  In it he discussed the fact that many men based their self-worth not on their own absolute accomplishments but on a relative comparison to their wife’s sister’s husband (the brother in law).  In other words, if you want to be a happy man, marry someone whose sister married a total loser.  Except that won’t work for me.  I love my fiancé very much and I’m not about to lose that because her brother in law is too nice.   And since I’m not going to sabotage his success in some way, I need to come up with a different solution. [Read more...]

Filed Under: Family, Introspection, Radical Honesty, Relationships, Respect Tagged With: , , ,

Guest Post: Act Like A Kid to Find True Happiness

February 17, 2011 By 1 Comment

Have you ever visited to a park and watched kids playing in the playground? They seem so free and so happy. Often if you look at the adults, they are happy just watching the children play. It’s contagious. Why does this make adults happy? Is it because they are remembering the pure innocence of children? Or perhaps it’s because they can see the beauty in the freedom from worry

Gal’s Note – Anytime I’m feeling a bit down I take my dog to the nearest park.  Watching her play and watching the adults & kids there having fun, never fails to cheer me up.  If it’s too cold for the park, try the mall or anywhere else where happy people congregate.  Happiness truly is infectious. [Read more...]

Filed Under: Goals, Introspection, Losing Weight, Step 1 - Priorities Tagged With: , , , , ,

Gain Insight Through Late Night Adventures

December 30, 2010 By 1 Comment

empty streetThere’s something to a sleeping city which is both beautiful and scary.  The streets which are usually teaming with people are now empty, the lights are off and everything is perfectly quite.  It’s eerie to walk through neighborhoods which you normally only drive through, to stroll through empty streets you wouldn’t notice during the day.  For me, this time of the night is a time to treasure with a walk by myself or with a partner.

[Read more...]

Filed Under: Introspection Tagged With: , , , ,
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