There’s a line in one of my favorite bad movies (bonus points if you guess which one) that goes like this “Fear is the mind killer, fear is the little death that brings total annihilation of the soul.  I will not fear…”  You know what?  Fear is not a bad thing.  It tells us when we’re about to do something stupid or when we’re faced with a dangerous situation.  Unreasonable fear is bad, this is true, but that’s true of any unreasonable behavior or emotion.  No, fear is not a bad thing and bravery is not the absence of fear, it is merely the ability to overcome fear.  So if fear is not our enemy, what is?  The answer is easy, it’s stress.

Stress is the feeling in your chest that you must do something right now but you don’t know what it is.  Stress is that pressure you sense when you’re worried about everything from your money to your weight.  Stress is the crushing burden you carry when life seems to be headed in the wrong direction and you have no clue how to get it back on course.  Stress is the problem which makes other problems worse, and it’s also the thing you need to stop before you can address your issues.

How Has Stress Helped You?

Think back to the last time you were stressed.  For me that was last week when I had a bit of an argument with someone close to me.  I was stressed because I kept replaying the argument over and over in my head.  What could I have done differently?  What could I have said that would have made the outcome better?  I really care about this person and I want things to be good between us, so how could I have changed what happened that day?  Then I started stressing about the future.

What if this person never wanted to speak to me again?  What if they were so angry I would lose them as a part of my life?  What if this mistake had cost me something valuable?  Which of course led me to start planning.  I started thinking about what I should do.  I made plans in my head and then ruled them out.  I started writing emails and then stopped mid message.  I even started dialing a few times but stopped because I wasn’t sure exactly what to say.  Does this sound familiar?

Maybe you did something similar the last time you thought about your finances or had a disagreement with a loved one.  Perhaps you do this when you get on the scale and start beating yourself up for all your past mistakes.  We all do this on occasion even though it’s one of the worst things we could possibly do.

Stress in no way helps you solve a problem.  There has never been a time where stressing over something I’ve done has helped me resolve that situation.  Replaying the past over and over in my head has never changed what happened and all those plans I come up with while stressed usually prove to be destructive and ill conceived.

So What Does Stress Do?

Stress is a fight or flight response.  It’s meant to save you in times when you’re faced with a saber toothed tiger.  That’s when stress comes in really handy, because it primes your body for that explosive energy you need to get your butt out of there.  So, have you met any saber toothed tigers lately?  Of course not.  Most issues we face today do not have simple fight or flight solutions.  However, we still stress about them as though they do, which causes us harm rather than good.

• Stress places a lot of pressure on the body.  Your heart beats faster pumping blood as it gets ready to run from that tiger.  In the long run, this causes heart disease and high blood pressure.
• Stress causes your body to start saving energy and feel hungrier than it should be.  That’s because your body think something bad is about to happen and it’s going to need reserves.  So yes, stress actually makes you gain weight.
• Stress causes you to think less clearly.  The hormones pumping through your body are meant to help you in a very physical way.  They tell you “ACT NOW!” which is not always the best response.  It’s hard to think clearly when you’re stressed because your whole body is gearing up to “DO SOMETHING RIGHT NOW!” rather than “ok, let’s think about this and come up with a good response”.

In other words, stress is extremely counterproductive for almost every modern day issue.  Sure, if you’re faced with an imminent physical danger then stress is your best friend but think back a bit to your recent past and consider how many issues you’ve stressed about that were in fact about imminent physical danger.  If you’re like me, the answer is very few if any.  For the most part we stress about issues that are long term in nature and require a measured and reasoned response.  In other words, we stress about issues where stress will cause us to do something stupid.

So….

Ahh yes, so what now?  I’ve explained why stress is bad but now what do we do about it.  How do we deal with stress now that we know it’s there?  The answer is going to vary from person to person but I’m going to give a few suggestions here.

• Physical activity – Remember, your body thinks it needs to fight or flight.  So why not give it something that will satisfy that need?  Go take a long run, punch a bag for an hour or lift some weights.  Go do something very physical and demanding until you’re exhausted and then come back to the issue at hand.  For the most part you will find your stress gone and your mind clearer.
• Talk to someone – Talking is a wonderful tool.  It helps us focus on the intellectual, reasoning part of our brain and away from the primitive part that’s screaming at us to run for our lives.  Find a good friend, family member or loved one and talk to them.  You may not even need to talk about the specific issue, although that helps.  The very act of talking will in many cases help get you out of that fight of flight mentality.
• Breath – You may not have noticed this but stress will make you breath faster.  That’s because your body is prepping for physical activity and needs all the oxygen it can get.  Fight that urge by breathing slowly and in a controlled manner.  In many cases you’ll find yourself relaxing from the mere act of breathing normally.
• Meditation – Those of you who practice various types of meditation, this can be a lifesaver when you’re stressed out.  Those of you who don’t do this, you may want to try.  It’s a very quick and easy way of calming yourself down to the point where you’re capable of making a rational decision.

Remember, unless you’re in some immediate, life threatening situation, stress is your enemy and not your friend.  It will make you do stupid things and act on bad decisions.  You have to get rid of the stress before you act.  Only then can you think clearly about what you need to do.