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What Do We Have To Be Thankful For? 7 Reasons Why This Is Indeed A Wonderful World

November 28, 2011 By 1 Comment

Earth - IllustrationI know it seems like the world is in trouble these days.  The Euro is collapsing, congress is paralyzed with stupidity, the environment is going to the dumps, house prices are crashing, fuel prices are soaring and Black Friday shoppers are now using pepper spray on one another.  So yes, it’s easy to get depressed about the state of the world and it’s easy to fall into that mode of “everything’s awful” and “we’re all doomed”.  However, this isn’t just unproductive, it’s also untrue.  I look at the world around me and I see wonders.  I see incredible people doing amazing things and I am in awe of where we are and how quickly we’re moving forward.  So today, I’d like to write down a few of these things I’m grateful for, a few things to remind myself that this is indeed a wonderful world. [Read more...]

Filed Under: Happiness, Introspection, Stress Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

Screw Reminders and To Do Lists

July 18, 2011 By Leave a Comment

To-Do ListI am one of those obsessive people who has to write down everything they need to do.  If I don’t write it down, I obsess about it.  I think about it over and over, visualizing all the bad things that will happen if I don’t get this done on time.  I stress myself out imagining the ramifications of what will happen if I forget to this task and then I obsess about whether or not I will forget it.  This is true for everything.  From the most important task (get an officiant for my wedding) to the least (walk the dog).  Luckily for me, I found a solution to this problem a long time ago.  The solution was actually in a book by David Allen called Getting Things Done which I highly recommend for anyone wrestling with organizational issues.  It was a simple solution and basically called for me to write things down.

I know, I know, sounds stupid simple, but it really works.  Before you start obsessing over a task, just write it down.  That way you have a reminder which you can deal with later.  In the meantime, you’re free to go about whatever other work you needed to do without devoting extra brain cycles to other stuff.  It’s an excellent tip and one that has stayed with me for years.  Unfortunately, it’s also that drives me crazy sometimes. [Read more...]

Filed Under: Goals, Perfectionism, Procrastination, Step 2 - Make A Plan, Stress Tagged With: , , , , ,

Get Up and Do Something!

May 21, 2010 By Leave a Comment

Last night I finally got more than 5 or 6 hours worth of sleep.  Sleep is a good thing and through various commitments and poor planning, I’ve been getting very little of it for the past two weeks.  It’s had a real impact on my life in terms of energy level and overall happiness.  I know I should be getting more but I just couldn’t do it.  So this morning I woke up, after the first good night’s sleep in a long time, and I expected everything to be better.  I expected to be full of energy, full of “get up and go”, except my “get up and go” seems to have gotten up and gone away.

I was tired, stressed and more lackadaisical (look it up) than before.  I just couldn’t get started on any of the things I wanted to do.  I couldn’t get up the energy to do anything more than some random web browsing.  This of course set me off on the usual stress treadmill.  “Why aren’t I getting anything done?  There’s so much that needs doing!  I’m lazy!  I’m a slacker!  I’m going to get fired!” I sat in front of the computer screen for 30 minutes before I got up and started snacking, which of course is a stupid thing to do since it just added to my stress level.  “I’m training for a marathon, why am I snacking?  I want to lose weight, why am I eating?”  Ever had one of those mornings?  Probably.  We all have them on occasion.  The question is, how do we deal with them?

Here’s a little trick I found out to prevent mornings like these to escalate into something even worse.  Ready for it?  It’s easy.  DO SOMETHING!  I don’t care what it is, just do it.  Start right now.  Don’t wait, don’t think about it, don’t consider what, just do something.  Answer an email, create a project plan or start writing that personal improvement blog post you’ve been too busy to write.  Whatever it is, just start doing it.  That’s the hard part, the starting, once you do that the rest will seem so much easier.

For me, I started writing this post, and you know what?  As soon as I started doing that, my stress level disappeared.  I was focused, I was in the groove and I was getting stuff done.  Of course, as soon as I get the first paragraph done I had to go to a meeting, but so what?  At least I got something done and my mood was so much better.

Your brain is sometimes your worst enemy.  It will spin you in circles stressing out about why you’re not getting things done and in so doing it will prevent you from getting anything done.  You’re so busy trying to figure out why it is that you’re not accomplishing anything that you never get focused enough to accomplish anything.  The trick is to distract the brain and just get started.  Being a finely tuned machine, your brain will actually focus right in on the task at hand if you get started.  It’s the idling that drives it crazy and that’s what you need to avoid.

By the way, by doing something I also mean not doing anything at all.  Sound confusing?  Let me explain.  Sometimes, it’s ok to take a break, but when you do so you should really take a break.  For too many people taking a break means stopping work but still stressing out about work.  This is not taking a break and it’s not really helpful.  When you take a break you should do something that engages the brain in something relaxing.  For example, read a good book.  Reading is one of the best stress releases out there.  It’s involving, but not demanding, especially if you’re reading something light and fluffy.  Playing with your dog is another good one.  You have to think and be engaged and so you’re not thinking about work or bills or politics.

An idle mind is not your best friend.

Filed Under: Starting Out, Stress Tagged With: , , , , ,

Stress Is The Enemy

May 6, 2010 By Leave a Comment

There’s a line in one of my favorite bad movies (bonus points if you guess which one) that goes like this “Fear is the mind killer, fear is the little death that brings total annihilation of the soul.  I will not fear…”  You know what?  Fear is not a bad thing.  It tells us when we’re about to do something stupid or when we’re faced with a dangerous situation.  Unreasonable fear is bad, this is true, but that’s true of any unreasonable behavior or emotion.  No, fear is not a bad thing and bravery is not the absence of fear, it is merely the ability to overcome fear.  So if fear is not our enemy, what is?  The answer is easy, it’s stress.

Stress is the feeling in your chest that you must do something right now but you don’t know what it is.  Stress is that pressure you sense when you’re worried about everything from your money to your weight.  Stress is the crushing burden you carry when life seems to be headed in the wrong direction and you have no clue how to get it back on course.  Stress is the problem which makes other problems worse, and it’s also the thing you need to stop before you can address your issues.

How Has Stress Helped You?

Think back to the last time you were stressed.  For me that was last week when I had a bit of an argument with someone close to me.  I was stressed because I kept replaying the argument over and over in my head.  What could I have done differently?  What could I have said that would have made the outcome better?  I really care about this person and I want things to be good between us, so how could I have changed what happened that day?  Then I started stressing about the future.

What if this person never wanted to speak to me again?  What if they were so angry I would lose them as a part of my life?  What if this mistake had cost me something valuable?  Which of course led me to start planning.  I started thinking about what I should do.  I made plans in my head and then ruled them out.  I started writing emails and then stopped mid message.  I even started dialing a few times but stopped because I wasn’t sure exactly what to say.  Does this sound familiar?

Maybe you did something similar the last time you thought about your finances or had a disagreement with a loved one.  Perhaps you do this when you get on the scale and start beating yourself up for all your past mistakes.  We all do this on occasion even though it’s one of the worst things we could possibly do.

Stress in no way helps you solve a problem.  There has never been a time where stressing over something I’ve done has helped me resolve that situation.  Replaying the past over and over in my head has never changed what happened and all those plans I come up with while stressed usually prove to be destructive and ill conceived.

So What Does Stress Do?

Stress is a fight or flight response.  It’s meant to save you in times when you’re faced with a saber toothed tiger.  That’s when stress comes in really handy, because it primes your body for that explosive energy you need to get your butt out of there.  So, have you met any saber toothed tigers lately?  Of course not.  Most issues we face today do not have simple fight or flight solutions.  However, we still stress about them as though they do, which causes us harm rather than good.

  • Stress places a lot of pressure on the body.  Your heart beats faster pumping blood as it gets ready to run from that tiger.  In the long run, this causes heart disease and high blood pressure.
  • Stress causes your body to start saving energy and feel hungrier than it should be.  That’s because your body think something bad is about to happen and it’s going to need reserves.  So yes, stress actually makes you gain weight.
  • Stress causes you to think less clearly.  The hormones pumping through your body are meant to help you in a very physical way.  They tell you “ACT NOW!” which is not always the best response.  It’s hard to think clearly when you’re stressed because your whole body is gearing up to “DO SOMETHING RIGHT NOW!” rather than “ok, let’s think about this and come up with a good response”.

In other words, stress is extremely counterproductive for almost every modern day issue.  Sure, if you’re faced with an imminent physical danger then stress is your best friend but think back a bit to your recent past and consider how many issues you’ve stressed about that were in fact about imminent physical danger.  If you’re like me, the answer is very few if any.  For the most part we stress about issues that are long term in nature and require a measured and reasoned response.  In other words, we stress about issues where stress will cause us to do something stupid.

So….

Ahh yes, so what now?  I’ve explained why stress is bad but now what do we do about it.  How do we deal with stress now that we know it’s there?  The answer is going to vary from person to person but I’m going to give a few suggestions here.

  • Physical activity – Remember, your body thinks it needs to fight or flight.  So why not give it something that will satisfy that need?  Go take a long run, punch a bag for an hour or lift some weights.  Go do something very physical and demanding until you’re exhausted and then come back to the issue at hand.  For the most part you will find your stress gone and your mind clearer.
  • Talk to someone – Talking is a wonderful tool.  It helps us focus on the intellectual, reasoning part of our brain and away from the primitive part that’s screaming at us to run for our lives.  Find a good friend, family member or loved one and talk to them.  You may not even need to talk about the specific issue, although that helps.  The very act of talking will in many cases help get you out of that fight of flight mentality.
  • Breath – You may not have noticed this but stress will make you breath faster.  That’s because your body is prepping for physical activity and needs all the oxygen it can get.  Fight that urge by breathing slowly and in a controlled manner.  In many cases you’ll find yourself relaxing from the mere act of breathing normally.
  • Meditation – Those of you who practice various types of meditation, this can be a lifesaver when you’re stressed out.  Those of you who don’t do this, you may want to try.  It’s a very quick and easy way of calming yourself down to the point where you’re capable of making a rational decision.

Remember, unless you’re in some immediate, life threatening situation, stress is your enemy and not your friend.  It will make you do stupid things and act on bad decisions.  You have to get rid of the stress before you act.  Only then can you think clearly about what you need to do.

Filed Under: Stress Tagged With: , , , , ,