So you’ve written up some goals and made some plans, right? That’s great. Now why are you keeping them to yourself?  Yep, step 3 of your new life is all about communicating your goals to your circle of friends and family!

Now many of you, like me, are a bit shy about your goals.  What will people think when we tell them we want to climb Everest?  Will they think us stupid?  Arrogant?  What will they tell me when I say I want to run for public office?  Will they make fun of me?  Will they tell me I’m a fool?  I’ve mentioned this embarrassment that people have about their goals before, now I’m going to mention it again but in a different context.  In addition to being honest with yourself, I want you to be honest with those around you.  That’s right, you need to tell the people in your life about your goals.

Why Would You Do That?

For three reasons. First, because it’s a good way to make sure you’re not missing something. Second, because it’s a good way to get motivated. Third, it’s a great way to get help.

Are you missing something? The people in your life know you really well. They know what you’re like and they know what makes you tick. By sharing your goals with them you can often discover things you’re overlooking. For example, when I shared my goal of retiring by age 40 with a friend of mine who had achieved something similar, he mentioned to me that retirement isn’t what it’s cracked out to be. He didn’t think I’d be happy sitting at home or going fishing every day because he knew how much I loved interacting with people. It’s because of his insight that I added the second goal of owning a bar or similar establishment. That would give me retirement while still giving me human interaction.

What about you?  What do your friends and family know about you that you might have missed?  Do they know of some need that you prefer to ignore?  Do they know of a problem that you might have to overcome?  Talk to them, use them as a sounding board for your ideas.  You’ll be surprised at how insightful they can be.

Are you motivated? Trust me, your friends can be great motivation of both a positive and negative kind. They can drag you down or they can keep you going through the toughest times. If you tell them what you’re trying to accomplish and also WHY you’re trying to do it, you’ll often find who your best friends are. Those are the friends who will keep you focused and moving forward. Again, to use an example from my own past, I communicated my health goals to several friends. They may not share them but they’re always helping me. They pick restaurants which serve healthy food, they encourage me when I attain certain goals and they remind me why I’m doing what I’m doing when I’m really tempted to order a big mac and some fries.

Are you getting all the help you need? A few years ago I became interested in running for office. You’ll note that even today, being elected is one of my big goals. I just had one problem, I had no clue where to start. So I casually mentioned this to a few people and got no helpful advice. Finally, almost giving up on this idea, I got help from an unexpected source. Turns out my very own mother had a friend who used to be the mayor of Cupertino (home of Apple Computers). She introduced me to him, he introduced me to other people and three months later I was on the Housing and Human Services Commission for the city of Sunnyvale.

Trust me, your network of friends and family has resources and information which will surprise the heck out of you and, best of all, they want to help you! Why not put them to good use by telling them what you’re trying to do and then asking for help?  To me, networking is the best way to get anything done.  It’s something that I’ll explore in more detail in upcoming articles but for now, let me just say that your network will never be able to help you if they don’t know you’re trying to do something.  So get the word out!

A Note About Why

One last note about communicating goals.  When talking to your friends and family, always make sure to mention the why and not just the what.  Tell them why you’re trying to accomplish certain things and not just what you’re trying to accomplish.  It’s a much better way of getting their support.